My funny and a little paranoid husband. How I love thee....

I have to start this by saying how much I love Jamie. He is an amazing father, an amazing husband and the very best friend ever. I could not have asked for a better spouse and am thankful every single day that he choose me to spend the rest of his life with. I am incredibly lucky.
Okay... that being said. This man is crazy. And the older he gets, the worse it is. He will not go to bed unless he checks that the oven is off and makes sure every single door is locked. Thank goodness for him doing this though, because I sure don't!

So it got cold last night. Really cold. I turned the heater on and set panic into the house. You know how the heater smells when you first turn it on after a long Summers break? Both Jamie and Caleb went running through the house investigating the "burning" smell.
Jamie turned the heater off and then set to work. He changed the filter and did a thorough investigation of the situation. Once he was comfortable, he turned the heater back on. All was good. So I thought.

He and I went to bed a few hours later. All three kids were already fast asleep in their respective rooms. Just as I started to doze, my husband says "Okay. Here's the plan. When (NOT IF but WHEN!) the smoke detectors go off, you get Ashley, I'll get Faith. I'll jump out the master bedroom window with Faith and you drop Ashley to me. Then you jump out too."
I said "What in the hell, Jamie!?!? Why would the smoke detector go off? What is going on?!" He then gets agitated with me and said "Just do it! And don't act like a girl about it. Jump out the damn window. And hurry up about it."
And now he is yelling at me. Sounding a tad more crazy than even I ever imagined.
I say, "But what is going on? Should we be worried about something?"
He says, "I'm worried. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. I know you say that smell is normal but I don't like it and yes, I'm worried. I'll lay here awake all night long worried."
And then he says, (very sternly) "Just get Ashley, throw her to me, and jump out the damn window, Krissy. And you have to be quick about it because I am then going around to the front to get Caleb."
"But Jamie, why can't we go out the front door."

"If we can, we will. But plan on going out the window. And I'm serious. (Now he is yelling!) JUMP. Do not act like a girl. JUMP. I can't leave the girls alone and I have to hurry back in to get Caleb."

"Okay. Sounds like a plan. Maybe we should have a fire drill this weekend?"

"Sure. But this is what we are doing tonight. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Is your cell phone next to you?"

"Yes"

"Grab it before you jump."

"Okay"

And now I am wide awake with my heart beating so loud I can actually hear it. And I'm seriously considering getting dressed so I'm ready to move and jump out that window. And then I start to visualize where Ashley's warmest blanket is that I can grab to wrap her in and trying to remember what pajamas I dressed Faith in wondering if she will be warm enough as she jumps from the second story window in her fathers arms.

Then I hear a noise.

It's Jamie snoring.

And just like that. our conversation was over. And I laid awake for the next two hours sniffing the air and listening very intently to every. single. noise. Even his snores.

Thanks, honey. Love you. And yes, we are having a fire drill this weekend.